Ghetto Thomas Cake Tutorial

I may have mentioned once or twice before that Chelsea is obsessed with Thomas. She decided months ago that she would only receive Thomas presents for her birthday. Whenever the suggestion came up that she might get something else, she'd say, "Wellll, maybe for Kissmas, but for my birfday I'm only gettin' Thomas peasants."

Like any totally insane mother, I decided to make her a Thomas cake. Sure, I could have made one like this. Or even like this. But no.

Because I stumbled upon THIS.

What follows is my very lame, very low-budget, very UNskilled Ghetto Thomas Cake tutorial.

Step 1: Bake a cake in a 9x13 pan. Use a cake mix because a 3-year-old will not notice if the cake is made from scratch or not. (If you live in an apartment where the oven sits on a slant, be prepared for the back of the cake to be a full inch taller than the front of the cake. Trim as needed.) Wrap in Saran and freeze.

Step 2: Cut the cake into quarters. Stack three of the quarters to form your Thomas. Save the remaining quarter for snacking building. Be sure you have a little model on hand for reference.

Step 3: Frost the layers together. Use a sharp knife to shave and cut the cake until it vaguely resembles the model. Jab a stick through it when it already starts to tip over.

Step 4: Give it a crumb coat. Use store-bought frosting because, again, the kid won't care and you don't have the patience to make homemade crusting buttercream. (Please be smarter than me. This cake is going to be mostly blue, so don't give it a white crumb coat. Make your life easier. The crumb coat should be blue.) Stick it in the fridge and hope it stays together.

Step 5: Make the face out of store-bought fondant (40% off one item at Michael's!) and black icing. Poke a stick in that, too. Set aside.

Step 6: Mix up your colors. (Another tip: Buy some red. It is impossible to make red by adding color to white. It just gets hotter and hotter pink.) (Also, I don't know why the picture is sideways or how to undo that. Halp?)

Step 7: Cover Thomas in blue frosting and then decorate with the other colors. Poke the popsicle face on there afterwards. Take a thousand pictures. Feel smug. Refrigerate cake until needed.

Step 8: At the appointed hour, add track and candles. Take some more pictures before he's demolished!

Step 9: Present Thomas cake to your beloved child and hope that you get a smile like this:

Step 10: Prepare for cannibalism.

Step 11: Have baby wipes, paper towels, napkins, and a hot bath ready to battle the (blue! and black!!!) frosting-covered face and fingers.

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