Playgroup versus... Naptime?

For the past two weeks in a row, Chelsea has come home from our regular Friday playgroup (holla!) and refused to nap. Oh, she'll stay in her room, she'll even stay in her bed, but WIDE awake. Today, I kept her in there for 2 hours hoping and hoping she'd finally go to sleep.

Because the wages of no naptime? Worse than death.

Cranky toddler = Ruined dinner. Bathtime meltdown. Much, much wailing and gnashing of teeth (and that's just Jeremy and me).

But today? It's freaking Halloween! How can I drag a cranky, over-tired child around in costume, in the dark, to our neighbors' houses, asking for candy?!

Today, I'm hoping to solve that problem with our least favorite baby-sitter: television. I figure if she sits in front of the TV for a while, maybe she'll at least be rested enough that she won't lose it in the middle of trick-or-treating if someone, oh I don't know, looks at her.

So for today, problem (maybe?) solved. But what to do next week? And the week after that? In the battle of playgroup versus naptime, who wins? I'd HATE to miss my playgroup, sometimes that's the only adult female conversation I get all week. But the torture of missed naptime is so acute, so horrible... I just don't know.

Happy Halloween to you and here's hoping you have less of a horror show at your house than we are likely to have here!
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Ah, Poetry

I know that there is something wrong,
Said Mrs. Heidi Summers Long.
I have a headache and some zits,
Dirty hair and stinky pits.
My eyes are sore, my legs are cold.
I’m feeling super-duper old.
My nightgown has a spit-up stain,
I cannot even use my brain.
The coffee never seems to work,
My children make me go berserk.
The baby cries and screams and shouts,
The toilet paper’s running out.
The big girl stays up late, late, late.
I cannot find a tidy plate.
Baby howls when I wipe her,
My bedroom smells like poopy diaper.
Crumbs and stickers on the floor,
I really cannot take much more.
Feeling like the walking dead,
When can I go back to bed?
I have a cramp and my arm is- what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is… Friday?
G’bye, I’m off to group to play!

(Dedicated to the amazing ladies in my Friday playgroup [I wish every day were Friday!] and inspired by Shel Silverstein's Sick.)
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Rainy Tuesday Meme

Thanks, Robyn, for the meme. We're definitely having a rainy, lazy, SOCKS-like day over here and I've got nothing. So here you go! Anyone reading this (hola, imaginary readers!) feel free to play along.

1. Where is your cell phone? Shelf
2. Your significant other? Jeremy
3. Your hair? Dirty
4. Your mother? Purposeful
5. Your father? Traveler
6. Your favorite thing? Sleep
7. Your dream last night? Interrupted
8. Your favorite drink? Margarita
9. Your dream/goal? Home
10. What room you're in? Kitchen
11. Your hobby? Blogging
12. Your fear? McCain
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Stable
14. Where were you last night? Couch
15. Something that you aren't? Thin
16. Muffins? Yum
17. Wish list item? Babysitter
18. Where you grew up? Cali
19. Last thing you did? Read
20. What are you wearing? Nightgown
21. Your TV? Off
22. Your pets? None
23 Friends? Facebook
24. Life? Lucky
25. Your mood? Cranky
26. Missing someone? Traci
27. Vehicle? Civic
28. You're not wearing? Socks
29. Your favorite store? Shubie's
30. Favorite Holiday? Halloween
31. Your favorite time? Bedtime
32. Your favorite color? Green
33. When is the last time you laughed? Now
34. Last time you cried? Days
35. One place that I go to over and over: Playgroup
36. One person who emails me regularly: Mom
37. My favorite place to eat: Juanita's
38. One place I would like to go right now: Encinitas
39. One person I think will respond: Um...
40. One TV show I watch all the time: Grey's
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Two Officers and a Stray Cat

Halloween 2007, on the way to a party. Jeremy and I were part of a group dressing as Reno 911. Chelsea is dressed as Bootsie (a stray black cat we met at the playground one day). I'm pregnant with Savannah, hence the button-down shirt that doesn't button down.)
Rad photography, right? I managed to cut off Jeremy's head AND feet. You would never guess that I used to work as a professional photog, would you? (But that's another post...)
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No on Prop 8

I can't believe this is even an issue.

Prop 8 is a ballot initiative in California to change the state constitution in order to ban gay marriages. The California state constitution currently prevents the state from discriminating against anyone on the basis of their sexual orientation. That's it. Judges did not make any new laws to allow gay marriage in California. They simply pointed out that what California was doing was in violation of its own constitution.

I'm embarrassed for my home state that Prop 8 is even on the ballot. I'm so proud to be living in Massachusetts where gay marriage is legal and just NOT A BIG DEAL. If you don't believe in gay marriage, fine. Don't get one. If your church doesn't believe in them, fine. Your church needn't support them.

I am by no means an expert on this topic, I don't pretend to be. But it boggles my mind that people want to change the constitution to actively deny gay couples equal rights.

Since I can't vote in California, I'm reduced to writing about it on my blog. If anyone is reading this in California, please, when you cast your ballot for Obama (!!!) don't forget to vote no on Prop 8. Also, skip that latte this afternoon and donate the $5 to help. It's easy, go here.


Now is the time to donate. Let your support be known.

Props to Looky, Daddy! for the cool poster.
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Dr. & Mrs. Evil, and Mini-Me

Halloween 2006. On our way to a party. Chelsea was 10 months old.

We were pretty rad, no? I'm totally distracted by the background: what the hell was on TV? Also, that bright shiny rectangle way up high is the license plate that is the banner for this blog, and I need to dig that baby gate around the TV out of storage 'cause Savannah wants to put her fingers in the VCR all. the. time. But forget all of that: check out our groovy costumes!

Thoughts on Alternative Education

Which of these two options would you choose for your child?

Option 1: Your child is competent in all school subjects, passes graduation requirements. Knows the dates of Lincoln's administration. Knows how to write a geometry proof. Writes a damn convincing 5-paragraph essay. Your child will only retain most of this information for a short time, but long enough to get into a good college.

Option 2: Your child lacks some specific content knowledge, but is a self-directed, motivated, thoughtful learner. S/he can read well and easily participate in sincere debates and conversations. Your child is mature, and views learning as a pleasure and a choice, not as a chore. S/he also easily gains acceptance to a good college.

Essentially, the question is this: Is it more important that your child be a good student or a good person? My opinion, in the words of a non-traditional student: "Attitude is more important than substantive learning in every way. The substantive things are trivial to acquire."*

The more I think about traditional schools, the more I'm convinced they are a waste of everyone's time. They can't even argue that they complete their most basic goal: instruction in academic content. The show "Are You Smarter than a 5th grader?" doesn't prove that adults are stupid, rather it shows how fleeting and irrelevant most of the things we "learn" in school are.

I say this as someone who is a highly trained educator with a long history of working in both public and private schools. In high school, I worked as a playground supervisor and a classroom aide. I spent over a year substitute teaching to decide whether or not to get credentialed. After getting my certificate, I worked for 5 years in private schools and completed a Master's degree in Education.

I have been reading a lot about the Sudbury Valley School which is basically a school with no curriculum. Students decide for themselves how to spend their days. They decide what, when, and how they will learn. They play a lot. They have massive amounts of freedom compared to their traditional school counterparts.

The primary objection to this type of schooling is that the students won't learn anything, they'll simply play all day. I would counter that while students seem to learn a lot in traditional schools, the content they study is largely forgotten. What students DO learn in traditional schools is how to sit down, be quiet, and follow directions. They learn that learning is not fun.

I have a nagging doubt in my mind about my indictment of traditional schools, and it is that despite their flaws, they have managed to produce thoughtful people who value learning. They produced me. And my husband. My friends Emily and Tracy. And dozens of others. They can't be all bad.

However, on walks around my neighborhood, I've seen school projects put out in the trash or recycle bin and I'm reminded of how pointless all of those activities usually are. In 6th grade, I had to stick a lightbulb on top of an empty bottle, cover it with a nylon stocking, and turn it into a pioneer-style doll for a project based on some book I don't even remember. What the hell was the point of that? I only remember it now because I was so traumatized by how horribly it turned out. Wouldn't the hours I spent working on that (and fretting over it) been better spent doing almost anything else? Perhaps playing?

I'm undecided on this issue. One some days, I decide that the only solution is for me to open a Sudbury-type school so that my own children will be able to attend one. When that idea is too scary, I decide they'll just have to go to public school, like everyone else, and they'll turn out fine. I think it will be harder to me to deal with all the nonsense (idiotic projects, mindless homework) than for them. Perhaps the real solution is somewhere in the middle: work for change in the public school system. My jury is still out.

If you are interested in this topic, please check out the Freedom to Learn blog, by psychologist Peter Gray. He is a parent of a Sudbury school student and has a lot to say about the importance of play and this model of education.

*Legacy of Trust, p.331.
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Book vs. Movie: The Beach

I recently picked up The Beach, by Alex Garland, out of a neighbor's free book box on the curb. And once I started reading it, I couldn't really put it down.

On the surface, this is a book I would never normally choose. The themes (backpacker culture, travel, Asia, drugs, insanity) are not my usual cuppa. But I always figure if a book inspired someone to make a film out of it, it can't be that bad.

And it wasn't bad, it was great. It was complicated, so much so that I wished I were back in college to have a literature professor help me understand it all and a class full of peers to discuss it with.

After finishing it, I was desperate to see the movie. I raced to the library to get there before it closed, and they didn't have it! (Shouldn't that be against library rules? If there is a movie based on a novel, the library should be required to carry that movie, no?) Don't worry, I got it at the local video store.

So, the movie. SUCKS. No, not really, but compared to the book? Well, I guess I should know better. Had I seen the movie first, maybe. Maybe I would've thought, "Hm, what an interesting movie. I should go read the book!" But it never works that way. Once I've seen the movie I cannot work up a single ounce of interest in reading the book.

I understand that changes must be made to fit a novel-length story into a couple of hours. But the changes in this movie were so egregious and unnecessary and untrue to the spirit of the book... it was just not forgivable. I was curious about the author's opinion of the movie and he's been quoted as saying, "It's shit."

I should also mention that I kind of super love Leonardo DiCaprio. I know, he looks like he's all of twelve years old, but whatever, shut up, I loooove him. So if I'm still saying the movie is bad? Well, I'm sorry Leo, but it is.

Since I don't make it to the movies nearly as often as I would like (read: never) I guess it's good thing that the books are almost* always better.

*Cormac McCarthy's No Country for Old Men being a ginormous exception.

Have Some Hall with those Oates

I just think this is really, really funny.

Do You Like My Acid Rock?

Music! Makes the people! Come together! YEAH!

Yes, Jeremy and I saw Madonna last night. Jeremy bought the tickets for my birthday way back in May, back when we still had money in the bank, back when the stock market was still over ten thousand, remember those days? Anyway, now that we are flat broke we tried to sell our tickets but apparently everyone else in Boston (in the country?) is flat broke, too, so like ALL of the tickets to last night's show were for sale on craigslist. When we realized we would be lucky to get half the price we paid for them, we decided to go. Okay, jeez, I guess we'll go ahead and go to a major concert, in the city, without our children...if you insist. *sigh*

The show was overwhelming. I've only seen a couple of concerts of that caliber in my life. I'm not a huge Madonna fan, didn't even recognize some of her newer songs, but she puts on quite a show. The songs I recognized were Vogue, Get into the Groove, Borderline, Music, La Isla Bonita, You Must Love Me, Four Minutes, Like a Prayer, Ray of Light, and Hung Up.

Get into the Groove was the most fun: her back-up dancers were dressed like Fanny Pak, the video screens behind them were full of Keith Haring-style images, and Madonna did double-dutch during the song while the audience sang.

The strangest song was La Isla Bonita. It can only be described as a flamenco hoedown. All the dancers were dressed in Spanish-style costumes, but the song was accompanied by... an electric fiddle? And then it morphed into a gypsy sequence where... a guy playing electric accordion came out? Then they were doing what can only be described as the Hava Nagila??? Very bizarre.

The people-watching was pretty brilliant. There were lots of leggings: leggings under skirts, leopard-print leggings, and (two seats away from us!) shiny black spandex leggings, yipes! Also a handful of wanna-bes, particularly of the Like a Virgin vintage. And the gays! My god, the gays! I mean, this is Massachusetts, and we are a very gay-friendly state but I guess I didn't realize that Madonna was the new Cher. Very nice.

We had a friendly, hip, young gay couple on one side of us who knew every word of every song and on the other side a friendly, older straight couple whose teenage kids had bought them tickets. At one point, the show featured a video urging political action and McCain's picture flashed on the screen amid horrors like famine, genocide, and fascism while Obama appeared in another montage including the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, and Oprah (Really, Madonna? Oprah?). The large majority of the crowd went WILD for this, including the young couple to our left. The older couple, however? NOT AMUSED.

Madonna commented that she'd been warned not to say anything more about Sarah Palin and she even made a dramatic gesture of zipping her lips and throwing away the key. Then she asked, "Are all of you fuckers registered to vote?" And then told us to vote for Obama before continuing with her song.

There were a few mysteries: at one point, Madge raised her arm up over her head and flipped the bird at the wall behind her. Who was she pissed at back there? Also, she started the show with a wavy hair-do, parted down the middle and later changed into a wig that was the EXACT same hair-do... with bangs. Why, why? And the final mystery: what song did she close the show with? We left early because our free baby-sitting (thanks, Tracy!) was turning into a pumpkin at midnight.

So despite today's ringing ears, over-tired children, and empty bank account it was a great night. And I'll probably spend the rest of the week randomly saying, "Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."
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Red Sox (Indoctrin)Nation

Happy family, on the way into the game!

This is where we sat. Think we are high enough? (Look, that's Jacoby balancing on Chelsea's knuckle. Can we just put him in a pocket and take him home with us? Please?)

Savannah's first Sox game. (She was actually much happier than she looks.)

How to keep a toddler happy at the game: cotton candy bigger than her head!

Mission accomplished. Superfan status complete.

Littlest Consumer

At 8am:

Chelsea: "Mommy, what is open?"

Me: "Um, Starbucks is open. And 7-11."

Chelsea: "We should go to Starbucks!"

Me: "No, honey, we're not going to Starbucks this morning. We're going to the playground a little later to meet some friends."

Chelsea: "We should go to Starbucks while we're waiting!"
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Some Thoughts on the 2nd Debate

Does McCain think I'm stupid?

Last night, he kept retelling the same anecdotes he told in the first debate, he even repeated himself on back-to-back questions. He mentioned his associations with Feingold and Lieberman twice in a row. Umm, yeah, I just heard that. He also repeated his Reagan & O'Neill anecdote twice in last night's debate. Does he think I am a dummy and need things beaten into my head? Or (an even greater concern) does he not have enough to say that he needs to resort to repeating himself?

McCain also provocatively said that Social Security is easy to fix... but didn't say how! Instead of repeating his tired anecdotes, he should have talked about that. (A quick search of McCain's official site resulted no matches for "social security"... how is that possible?)

I also felt like he was brown-nosing a bit. He kept stressing that Americans are the best, the smartest, the most innovative, the most hard-working. Ok. You love your country. That's a good thing. But again, don't beat me to death with it. He sounded insincere, pandering, and desperate.

Overall, I thought McCain looked very old and stiff (which leads me to frightening thoughts about possible President Palin) and I felt that if the Town Hall Meeting is his preferred style of debate, he should've done a lot better.

(Quick share: If, like me, you have concerns about McCain, or if you're undecided or leaning towards him, please take a look at this recent article from Rolling Stone.)

Obama struck me as smart. I liked that he criticized President Bush's call for Americans to go shopping in the wake of 9/11. In the same vein, his stand-out quote for me was when he said, "Americans are hungry for a call to service." Unlike McCain, he was able to give a specific answer to the question about what Americans might need to sacrifice given the current economic situation and our commitments overseas. He said Americans should look at their energy consumption. To me, this is a double win. First, he is correct that in times of war, it's appropriate that not only military families are making sacrifices for the country. Second, a reduction in energy consumption also impacts the environment and begins to address our dependence on foreign oil.

Obama was also guilty of repeating some pet phrases; he reused the machete versus scalpel metaphor to compare McCain's federal spending freeze to his own strategy for cutting spending. Despite that, I felt that he did a better job of answering the questions that were asked and not sounding like a broken record.

When Obama spoke about the feeling in this country after 9/11, he made me really hopeful. I do believe that Obama will be the next President, and I hope he can rekindle those feelings of community and national pride that we all had in those days and channel them toward a better future. I hope he was serious about a call to service. I think we're ready.

What did YOU think?
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Mother's Naptime Rant, in Three Acts

Act 1
Mobility is so overrated. Now that Savannah can sort of get around on her own, she's even harder to get to sleep than before. Lately when I put her down, she immediately backs up into a sitting position and cries. I know she'll eventually lie down and sleep. Today I went in to check on her and she's standing up hanging on to the top of the crib rail and wailing. I lie her back down. She sits back up. I leave. Go back in to check on her again? Now she's on her knees trying to recreate her performance from earlier. I give up.

Act 2
How is it possible that BOTH children are head-noddingly sleepy in the car at 12:30pm and I have to shout songs at them to keep them awake on the way home... yet they are still wide awake at 1:30pm after lying (or sitting, standing, or kneeling) in their beds for half an hour?

Act 3
Why, why, WHY does the gardening service that comes to our apartment building to mow our ridiculously small stretch of grass with the loudest riding mower on Earth have to come every week DURING NAPTIME? (Not that my children are sleeping or anything...).

Fin
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The Turtle Song

Chelsea and I have a nightly bedtime ritual. After bath, jammies, and stories, I always sing her the Turtle Song. It goes like this:

I had a little turtle
His name was Tiny Tim
He went into the bathtub
To see if he could swim
He drank up all the water
He ate up all the soap
He went to see the doctor
With a bubble in his throat.

I first sang it to her a long time ago, back when she was still sleeping in her crib, back when I was searching for something, anything, to keep her from crying when she went down for a nap or for bedtime. One day, I sang this song, and she didn't cry. And just like that, it became our routine.

As she got older, she wanted to take over singing the song entirely by herself ("I do it myseff!") but her versions were so long and rambling and I never knew when they were over, so instead we made a compromise: I sing it, but she sings the last word of each line.

Lately, however, she's turned the song into a MadLibs-like exercise in ridiculousness. Here's how it usually goes:

I had a little THOMAS!
His name was THOMAS WHOMAS!
He went into the PERCY!
To see if he could PERCY!
He drank up all the PERCY!
He ate up all the PERCY!
He went to see the PERCY!
With a PERCY IN HIS EDWARD!

Sometimes I ask her if she wants to hear a different song. My mom is able to put her to bed with an out-of-season rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and my husband manages to put her to bed with no songs at all. But with me, it's always the Turtle Song. Or, I guess I should say, the Thomas Song. Although, isn't every song at my house the Thomas song these days?
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This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as an entry for a contest sponsored by Bush’s Beans.
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Sarah Palin Drinking Game

1. Every time she says "ya" (as in, "I hear ya!"), take a drink.

2. Every time she drops a "g" (as in, "I'm talkin' to the people!"), take a drink.

3. Every time she says "nuke-u-lar" instead of nuclear, take a drink.

4. Every time she overtly dodges a question, take a drink.

5. Every time she gives a rambling, incoherent answer more reminiscent of shoddy high school debate than of executive-level politics, take a drink.

Bonus Round: If she gets elected, hie thee hence to your local packie with your last few dollars, 'cause you're gonna need A LOT of liquor.
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