Christmas Card Outtakes

Lest you think it is easy to get a decent photograph of two wiggly, ornery children for the annual holiday photo, here are a few outtakes from this year's photo shoot to dispel such notions.

"You can't make me stand in one spot!"

"See?! Haha! I run away from you and your silly camera!"

"Now stand still, baby, and stay here for the picture..."

"Ok. I'll stay in one spot. But I will only look at you with ONE EYE!"

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Because I Love You

I am giving you this. Behold! Shy Ronnie!



Happy, happy to you and yours!
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Love Me Some Deals

I should really start a separate blog for this kind of stuff, but since I am lazy, I'm just gonna put it here (for now?).

Here's my Vons trip from yesterday. Props to my mom who came and stayed with the girls thereby making my coupon-printing and kid-free shopping possible.

Coupon Deals

4 jars Classico Pasta Sauce, $1.99 each (if you buy more than 3)
-used 2 x $1 off 2 printable coupons
= $1.49 each

4 boxes Kleenex tissues, $1.29 each (if you buy 4)
-used $2 off 4 in-ad store coupon
-used 2 x .75 off 1 printables (first one doubled to $1)
-received $1 off my next order coupon at checkout
= .41 for 4 boxes

2 loaves Nature's Pride bread, $2.00 each
-used 2 x .75 off 1 printables (first one doubled to $1)
= $2.25 for both loaves

2.5 lbs pot roast, $1.67/lb ($4.28 total)
-used $2 off printable store coupon
= $2.28 (under $1 a pound!)

2 bags Pillsbury ready-to-bake cookies, $2.99 each
-used 2 x $1 off 1 store coupon
-used 2 x $1 off 1 printable coupon
-used 2 x $1 off 2 loadable e-coupons
=FREE! (+2 cents overage)

Non-coupon stuff that was just on sale:

2 1lb. boxes Barilla Pasta, $1 each

Ground Turkey, $1.99/lb

Raspberries, $1.50/pack

Oranges, .47/lb

Potatoes, .49/lb

Other stuff that wasn't on sale but I still needed:

1 Gallon 2% Organic Milk, $5.49 (wish I could get coupons for this!)

1/2 gallon skim milk, $1.99

2 packs frozen sausages, $2 each

Bananas, .67/lb

Carrots, .79/lb

Organic Salad Mix, $5.99

Total Before I scanned my store card: $86.20
After store card and sale prices: $54.25
After coupons: $40.75

Got back:
$1 off your next purchase (from Kleenex)
$10 off your next purchase (from Vons, for having spent way too much money with them over the past few weeks)

But look at all that stuff! For $40! I was stoked. And as much as I fall off the wagon with couponing sometimes... man, when it is good, it is SO good.
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One of Those Days

Everyone is sick today. And I'm about to lose it.

Savannah wants to sit on my lap and hear book after book after book after book. When I finally get up, she follows me around crying and wipes her snotty nose on my pants.

Since we're not going anywhere, I let Chelsea park herself in front of PBS Kids all morning. After 3 hours of preschool programming, they switched to fund-raising and she started to cry. This is a kid who usually watches about 3 hours of TV in a week, so I have no sympathy for being upset about watching only 3 hours of TV in a day.

By 11am, I needed a break. I went into my bedroom, locked the baby gate behind me, and put the covers over my head.

Then I listened to them scream at me and each other for a few minutes. And then? It got mysteriously quiet. Too quiet.

In the 5 minutes of solitude I allowed myself, they managed to create a 2012-like path of destruction through the rest of our tiny abode.

They pulled all the drawers out of two storage shelves and dumped out all the contents in another room. They upended the empty storage units and tried to climb into them.

They pulled a pile of clothes out of the laundry and another pile of clothes out of drawers, making it impossible to tell which was which.

They broke a lamp.

And left the lamp turned on, lying with the hot bulb in a pile of blankets. Surrounded by giant shards of broken glass.

So much fun to clean up!

I finally came out, did a power clean-up, and made lunch. Which Chelsea refused to eat. (Who refuses quesadillas? Made with delicious Trader Joe's homemade tortillas? I don't geddit.)

At the end of my rope, on my last nerve, I decided to console myself with a generous handful of Hershey's Kisses leftover from a baking project (peanut butter blossoms! yes, they're all gone now!). I know, I know. I watched the Biggest Loser finale last night, I'm not supposed to deal with emotional issues with food, thank you Bob and Jillian. But what else am I supposed to do?

Oh. I guess I'm doing it right now.
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Self-portrait FAIL

Actually, the self part of these portraits is fine. You'll note that I look almost exactly the same in each picture, my entire head is in the frame, and I am actually looking at the camera with my eyes open.

If only the same could be said for my children.

Strike One!

Strike Two!

Strike Three!

And we're out.

PS Yes, I do like to dress them in matching outfits. So sue me.

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The Butt Farm

Disclaimer: No butts were actually farmed in the making of this post.

Last month, we were invited to visit a ginormous pumpkin patch called Bates Nut Farm.

Or as it is known affectionately in our family: Nate's Butt Farm. Or simply, the Butt Farm.

Despite having grown up in this area, I myself had never before visited the Butt Farm. My husband and his parents responded to this news with much horror and audible gasping, so we all set off out into the desert to remedy the situation.

Upon arriving at the Farm, we were greeted with everything you would expect from such a place: hay rides, barbecue sandwiches, hay mazes, and piles of pumpkins. We were also greeted with unrelenting sunshine and 90-plus degree heat. (I did mention it's out in the desert, right?)

We all flipped a collective bird to the heat, and got our tickets for the hay ride.

After a yummy lunch (in the shade) we set out to pick some pumpkins. Some of us might have started to get a bit cranky.

Aaaaaah! I don't wanna stand by these pumpkins!

Waaaah! Me neither! You can't make me look at the camera!!!

Pumpkins were purchased and we retreated to our air-conditioned cars for the trek home. And five minutes after leaving the Butt Farm...



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The Day Savannah Fell in Love with a Llama

No, I am totally not making that up.

Last month, we needed some pumpkins and some evening entertainment, so rather than head over to our nearest mall parking lot, we drove out to the middle of nowhere to an adorable little pumpkin patch.

Despite its small size, there was a lot to see and do. We found three mazes (hay bale, corn, and bush), dozens of toys to play with, and many animals to look at and/or feed.

Among the animals, was a llama. THIS llama, to be precise:

And with that brief meeting, a love affair for the ages was born.

After that day, I kept hearing Savannah say, "Mama! Mama!" but it was clear she wasn't talking about me. (I have a much shorter neck and I typically go by "Mommy.")

She'd point to a goat in a story book: "Mama!"

Or a baby deer on a matching game: "Mama!"

Or a toy giraffe on a toy catalog: "MAMA!"

Now the hunt is on for all things llama. At the library, she now has a knack for digging out Is Your Mama a Llama? from the board book bins. She often asks to wear her llama shirt (I guess it hasn't dawned on her yet that she does not currently own a llama shirt, nor has she ever seen one).

In the car, before we can turn on Chelsea's kids' music, Savannah shouts: "MAMA! 'ONG!" (Translation: SING ME A LLAMA SONG!) To which I dutifully reply, "How much is that llama in the window...."

And although they are not listed on the official map at the San Diego Zoo, look who just managed to find her favorite animal anyway:

Ok, so that might not actually be a llama. Do you think she cares?

Now all I have to do is find a llama shirt and maybe a little stuffed llama for Christmas and fervently hope that she doesn't find some new obsession within the next month.
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Tyra's Gonna Call Me Any Minute. I Know It.

America's Next Top Toddler:

And (not to be outdone) America's Next Top PreSchooler:

Eat your hearts out, CW betches!

---

I've Been a Bad, Bad Girl

I've been neglecting my blog.

That last post down there? The date was October 1st. I fully intended to post on November 1st and say, "Oh my goodness, I'm so embarrassed it has been A MONTH since I last posted!"

And... now it's been like 6 weeks.

Here are my reasons:

A. I suck and am lazy.

B. I have not had Internet access for oh, about 6 weeks. (Except on Jeremy's work laptop on which I am forbidden to visit dangerous, non-corporate sponsored sites. Like blogs. Sorry, Blogger!)

C. All of my 80 kajillion photos from October are on MY laptop. The one NOT connected to the Internet. (And really, what's the point of telling all my little stories without pictures, hmm?)

But let me tell you, October was pretty good: shoelace hairbows, not one but TWO pumpkin patches, nude pumpkin carving (by THE CHILDREN, jeez, get your mind out of the gutter!), a Red Sox game, a llama, and costumed adorableness, of course.

First installment coming soon. Like, before everyone wakes up from nap. *fingers crossed!*
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Dog Days of October

Jeremy and I love Halloween. We love decorating, we love dressing up, we love candy. (Well, maybe I love candy enough for both of us.)

We especially love homemade costumes. We stand in opposition to store-bought costumes. (Not in small part because all of the adult female costumes are variations on a slutty theme. But I digress.)

Chelsea announced last November 1st that she would be Thomas the Tank Engine this Halloween. And after a year of dreaming about the costume I would make for her, I broke down and bought her a store-bought version a few weeks ago.

With Chelsea squared away, I turned my attention to Savannah. We saw an adorable bumblebee costume at Gymboree and I had an attack of "I can make that!"

Later at home, I said to Savannah: "Mommy is going to make you a bumblebee costume! Won't that be cute? Do you want to be a bumblebee for Halloween?"

And she said, "Daw!"

Translation: "Dog!"

Me: "You want to be a dog for Halloween?"

Her: (big smile) "Yeah, yeah!"

Me: (to myself, in my head) YOU ARE TOO LITTLE TO EVEN KNOW WHAT HALLOWEEN IS! HOW DARE YOU ROB ME OF MY ADORABLE BUMBLEBEE!

So I decided to make a dog costume. I figured, I'll buy a white sweat suit, slap some black spots on it, throw some ears on the head and I'll have a cute little dalmatian. I mean, how hard can it be?

Surprisingly hard.

There must be a plain white sweatsuit at Target, right? No. There is one covered in sparkles and glitter. There should be one at Walmart, yes? No. There is one covered in rainbows and unicorns. Ditto for Kohl's, Old Navy, and anywhere else you might think to look for a plain white sweatsuit.

Next thing I know, we're in the costume aisle at Target. There are 3 dog costumes. A Saint Bernard, complete with a mini-cask of booze around the neck, which she (thank goodness) declined. A giant Scooby Doo costume, which she also declined and wouldn't have fit her anyway. And a $49.95 Pokey Little Puppy number which she also declined, with gratitude from my bank account.

Next stop, Halloween Superstore in an old empty Linens n Things, Best Buy, or Mervyn's. We find a perfectly cute, generic brown dog, in her size for less than the price of a dinner for four. She refuses! Now what!?

Can't make homemade, can't agree on store-bought, I finally decide I'm just going to dress her up as a bumblebee, and she's going to like it, dammit!

We go to Walmart to pick up some bumblebee supplies: yellow and black tulle (because bumblebees wear tutus, didn't you know?), yellow ribbon, elastic. On our way to the check-out, we detour through the Halloween section.

And find a cheap, toddler-size, Scooby Doo costume. Which Chelsea hands Savannah and Savannah promptly hugs and loves.

We bring it home for the moment of truth: will she actually wear it? We get the little body suit on, and the last part is a soft, hood-like dog head that straps under the chin with velcro.

This is a kid who pulls off every hat and yanks hair bows and barrettes right out. There is no way she's going to wear a velcroed-on dog face strapped to her head.

But she does.

And the pure joy on her face when I take her to the mirror to look at herself is priceless.

So now both of my precious angels will be wearing store-bought costumes this year. And my sweet bumblebee dreams have been dashed.

But, is this not the cutest little Scooby Doo you've ever seen?

.

---

Califotos

As promised, here are some recent pics of our adventures in California...

Playing in Grandma's backyard



Little sunbather in Balboa Park

Fun with sunglasses and walkie-talkies!

Trying to get a cute shot...

nope

wait a sec...

gotcha!

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Former Marbleheaders

Just a few pictures from our last big adventure in Massachusetts: taking the ferry to Charlestown Navy Yard to visit Old Ironsides.

Chelsea and me, on the ferry.

Savannah and Jeremy (her first boat ride!)

All of us at the Kidport

That last one looks crappy, I know, but I couldn't resist including a shot of our last few hours in Massachusetts. We hung out in the kids' playspace in Terminal C at Logan before boarding our flight out to Cali. (Why all airports do not have these is a mystery of the universe.)

Coming attractions: California pictures! Whee!

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Letter to a Leaky Faucet

Dear Left Boob,

You can stop now.

The babies are all done nursing. Like, WAY done. Months ago. Done.

And there are no new babies on the horizon for you.

So please, just stop now. Ok?

Much love,
Heidi's shirts, tank tops, and bras
---

And a Side Order of the Buddha

Today I was watching Top Chef on YouTube (oh yes! it is very Top Secret, but it is there) and somehow stumbled on this crazy video of Penn Teller talking about atheists and agnostics.

From there, I found Sam Harris' website and became briefly absorbed in the forum discussions on religion.

I've only written a little about religion on here, it being such a controversial subject and my views being decidedly in the minority. But it is a topic of endless fascination and consternation to me.

As I've gotten older, I've learned to hold my tongue. I worked in a Christian school for a few years without getting into any blazing philosophical debates.

But when I was younger, I loved to argue about religion. Part of the reason I did my undergraduate degree in the Study of Religion was so that I would have a good comeback when religious people asked me (as they often did) if I had ever truly explored a religion. ("Why, as it so happens, I have a degree in the subject!)

Oh. And I also love The Big Lebowski.

(You: Huh? What the eff does that have to do with anything?)

All of this is just background to explain why I so greatly enjoyed an email that I received today from my fabulous and hysterical husband. This is what he wrote, in response to my mom's request that he pick something off the menu of a local Mexican place for an upcoming family gathering:

"I would like the Jesus."

Now, I have not confirmed this with him, but I am completely convinced that he picked this meal (it's a combination dinner, btw) primarily for the chance to say "I would like the Jesus." Or later, "I really enjoyed the Jesus." And maybe also, "You have to try the Jesus!"

(Yes, I know it's not "Jee-zuss" it's "Hay-soos," but "I would like the Hay-soos" just isn't as funny.)

My husband is selflessly ignoring his own desires in order to get a laugh.

Or maybe he really just wanted the "Dos Beef Tacos" combo plate.
---

Future Tech Guru

Chelsea: Sometimes Thomas Googles himself!

Me: EXCUSE ME?

Chelsea: Sometimes Thomas types his name into Google to see pictures of himself!

Me (to myself, in my head): Who taught her that? How does she know to use Google as a verb? Well, we do sometimes type "Thomas" into Google and look at pictures of trains, but really? If she has been listening to me saying I'm going to Google something, what else has she picked up and just not spoken aloud yet? ARGH!
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Personally, I Prefer my Robert Smith a Bit Less Randy

We were at the home of some new friends recently for dinner and they asked us what we liked to do when we weren't chasing our kids around.

Our response? (insert sound of crickets chirping here)

Pretty sad. We're so wrapped up in our children and the hectic pace of daily life that we don't even know what we like to do anymore.

The following weekend, we had some free babysitting (thanks Grandma and Grandpa!) and decided over dinner that we should not just go sit in a movie theater, but do something different.

We decided on a concert in Pacific Beach at a place called Cane's. Now PB is a very college-y, party-ish part of town and Cane's is the kind of place where you see more fake boobs than real. Despite that being not at all our scene, we went because they were hosting a trio of 80s tribute bands: The Long Duck Dongs, The Cured, and Dead Man's Party.

We got there in the middle of the Dongs' set and they were actually really good. They are an 80s cover band, so it was like being at an 80s night except with a live band.

Then came The Cured. They looked silly with their ridiculous spiky wigs, but they sounded just like the Cure. Jeremy and I made bets on what they'd start and end with and both agreed that we'd barf if they played Friday I'm in Love at any point. (They did and we rolled our eyes.)

The Cured just went on for too long for my taste, but we had to stick it out for the whole reason we came: to see Dead Man's Party.

DMP is an Oingo Boingo tribute band and Jeremy and I are hardcore, old skool Boingo fans. We own all the albums, know all the words, and have seen them in concert over and over again. I even stalked the lead singer's brother in a shoe store in LA back in the day.

But that's another post.

DMP was more than worth the wait. They were excellent, so much fun. We danced and sang and screamed until it was way too late for two grown-ups with two small children to be out.

We went home with sore throats and ringing ears.

I don't think I ever need to do that again. But, boy howdy, I'm glad we did.

At least now we can say one thing we like to do.

---

Photos from the bands' websites.

I Heart the DMV!

Round 1

DMV Bitch: Next in line!

Me: I need a license and registration.

DMVB: (handing me two forms, a clipboard, but no pen) Is your car parked in the front lot? You need to go around the side for vehicle verification.

Me: Ok... (Go outside, drive around, get another form from the car verifier lady, go back inside.)

Round 2

Me: (handing the DMVB my verification form)

DMVB: Where are the rest of them?

Me: I didn't finish them yet.

DMVB: I need all three.

Me: (sitting down with the hordes, only to see that question number 8,459,922 is "List the current mileage of your vehicle; go back out to the car and note mileage; call Jeremy to answer question 9,445,899: "List the purchase price of the vehicle." Leave question 9,889,656 intentionally blank: "How much sales tax was paid on this vehicle?" Cross my fingers and hope for the best.)

Round 3

DMBV (to another customer): I'm only trying to make sure you have everything so you don't wait in the big line and find out you can't do what you need to do. That's what this desk is for."

Other customer: (takes papers and leaves unhappily)

Me: (handing DMVB my completed papers)

DMVB: Registration card?

Me: Yes! (handing it over)

DMVB: License?

Me: Yes! (ditto)

DMVB: Passport, birth certificate, and marriage license?

Me: (crestfallen) I didn't bring any of those things.

DMVB: You can't get your license, but do you still want to wait and get your registration?

Me: Hmmm, let me think. Do I want to stand in the long-ass line for a couple of hours only to partially complete the chores I came here to do? And then come back on another day and stand in the same fucking line again? No, I don't think I'd like to do that.

(I didn't really say that, of course. I just said no, took my papers and left. Called Jeremy and cried. Went to the car and cried some more. And then waited until I'd cooled off to start driving back to my mom's, where my parents were watching the girls yet again.)

Mostly I am mad at myself, because it's my own fault for not having everything I needed. (Although, why do they need my marriage license to let me drive a car?) But I'm also mad at the DMV Bitch, because if her job is to prevent me from wasting my time why didn't she tell me I needed all that shit the first time I walked up to her? I still would have been pissed, but at least I wouldn't have wasted both of our time.

Yay! California is just so much fun sometimes I can't even stand it.
---

Today

Outside my window... darkness, and in the distance fireworks at Sea World.

I am thinking... about dirty flip flop feet and BPA-free water bottles.

I am thankful for... living close to my parents and in-laws. Kendra being done with chemo.

From the kitchen... yogurt and fruit for lunch, brought Jeremy's version of my mom's famous Sombrosas for a cookout at the marine lab for dinner.

I am wearing... new UCLA t-shirt, Melissa's hand-me-down cargo pants, no shoes, just took out a bun I've been wearing for 24 hours.

I am creating...this post! a new life in California.

I am going...to bed, once I get Chelsea in her bed.

I am reading...magazines my mother-in-law brought me from the library.

I am hoping... that I can start posting more photos now that I have a better computer.

I am hearing... traffic from Mission Gorge Road. Chelsea whispering to me from her doorway: "Mommy, I'm having scary dreams." (Even though she hasn't fallen asleep yet. Faker.)

Around the house... boxes, boxes, everywhere! but cleaner than it was this morning.

One of my favorite things... during the cookout, Savannah was chasing a little boy and repeatedly trying to hug him. He shrugged her off and then turned and hugged Chelsea.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Target on Thursday (baby wipes), German storytime on Friday, and Wicked with the grandmas on Saturday. Nice!

Thanks to Robyn for the format of this post.
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Only in LA

Linda and I drove up to LA with Peter on Sunday, to visit Kendra and give Brenda some much-needed downtime. We all stayed overnight and the next morning in the hotel breakfast room an older gentleman asked if he could join our table.

Brenda has mastered the art of talking easily with strangers and quickly got the man talking about his life and livelihood as a glassblower in Las Vegas.

Then, out of nowhere, he says: "And I was on the Ed Sullivan Show with the Beatles."

He explained how he'd been part of a unicycle duo and they'd been booked for the same night. He told us that the Beatles were terrified of American girls, who threw their petticoats and underpants at the band. He said one girl even went so far as to remove her bra, stuff the lining with nickels, and hurl it at the stage from the 9th row, over the heads of all the other girls, landing it on Ringo's cymbals.

The day after the show, he continued, he and his partner were invited up to the Beatles' room to help them understand and deal with these wild American girls. While there, a large box was delivered and out popped (can you guess?) a wild American girl!

At this point in the story, the man suddenly announced that he needed to get back to his wife who was still in their room. He held up his Danish and said, "She loves these. I'm not even supposed to be eating them; I'm diabetic."

After he'd left, Linda and Brenda began to discuss the amazing story he'd told.

And I said, "I'm not buying it." (Which is pretty ironic because usually I am ridiculously gullible and Jeremy is the hardcore skeptic in the family.)

Brenda was determined to uncover the truth and started scouring Google.

And here's what she found:

Yep. That's Paul on our glassblower's unicycle. And Don (the future glassblower and renegade Danish-eater) is the shaggy-haired dude on the far right.

Huh.

Guess I need to hang out in LA more often.
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Sick Day Conversation

Chelsea has a scratch on the outside edge of her nostril from when her face accidentally collided with her father's fingernail the other day.

It is severely hindering her nose-picking, which is one of her top three hobbies these days (right after playing with trains and coloring pictures of trains).

She's not feeling well today, so I was lying down with her as she was settling down for a nap. She told me that her nose was hurting.

Me: Leave it alone. It'll get better faster that way.

Chelsea: But I can't reach inside it!

Me: Reach inside tiger's nose instead. (Tiger is her stuffed lovey.)

Her: Tiger doesn't have a nose!

Me: TIGER DOESN'T HAVE A NOSE?!

Her: Well, she has this kind of nose, but she doesn't have any pokes. (Pointing to tiger's nose and then my nostrils.)

Me: Nostrils.

Her: Yeah.

Me: Poor tiger! How does she breathe without any nostrils?

Her: She's not a real tiger. She just... she's just like... she's made of fuff!

There's no point to this story except that pokes and fuff are my new favorite words.
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Not Quite Clear on the Concept

"Buh!"

That's Savannah's word for milk. It sounds like "book" but without the K.

"BUH!"

We're sure it means milk because she usually drinks her milk out of a certain type of cup and often just seeing that cup will elicit much pointing and many exclamations of "Buh!"

She also knows the sign for milk (opening and closing fist, like milking a cow, which isn't so bad now that her milk actually comes from a cow and not from me) and she will also add the sign if we say, "Do you want some milk?"

I know she can do the M sound because she says "Mama" all the time.
"Mama?"
"Mama!"
"MAAAAAAMAAAAA!!!"

So I'm trying to get her to say "milk." Or at least "Muh."

Savannah: Buh!

Me: Do you want some milk?

Savannah: (nodding, pointing, signing) Buh!

Me: Say milk. MMMMM-milk!

Savannah: MMMMM-BUH!

She's not quite there yet.
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And the Streets Were Lined with Candy

Last weekend we attended our town's annual 4th of July Parade.

Or as it is known to the townies, "The Horribles Parade."

Or as it is known in our home, "The Candy Parade."

This parade seems to have nothing to do with Independence Day or anything Horrible but there is a lot of candy, so that last moniker is probably the most fitting.

In this parade, the town's children and their families dress up in outlandish costumes and compete for prizes. There were lobstermen and princesses. A couple of kids with bald-head wigs covered in marbles (geddit? marble-head!) and lots of references to our recent spate of rain.

In addition to the costumes, many of the entrants toss candy into the crowd. Lots of candy. And some pretty good candy, too.

Sure, there are your hard candies (peppermint drops and butterscotches) that crack into a thousand pieces as they hit the pavement. But lots of families were throwing out Tootsie Rolls and Hershey's Kisses. Hell, I'd even dive into the street for those!

And that is exactly what all of the town's children who were not marching in the parade were eager to do. I was relieved that my child was not the only one chanting, "Candy! Candy! Candy!" while waiting for the parade to begin.

Unfortunately for my little cherubs (and perhaps fortunately for their teeth) we got stuck behind a small army of older elementary age boys who were extremely aggressive in their candy acquisition. At one point, I remember thinking they were dangerously close to attacking the parade entrants and simply taking the candy.

But my girls were able to scrounge a few pieces. Chelsea was ecstatic not only to be allowed to dart into the street but to pick up candy from the ground. We even managed to drop a piece in front of Savannah (and hold back her ferocious candy-foraging sister) so she could pick one up, too.

My favorite part was when one particularly generous and patient teenage boy came over to the girls and handed them each a little peanut butter cup.

Which I promptly shoved into my pocket and later ate.

Viva The Candy Parade! I'll miss you and your delicious free candy.



If you look on the far bottom right at 15 seconds, you'll see a little someone in a red tank top... that's Chelsea!
---

Road Trip

We made it to Maine!

And all it took was 7 hours, 2 gas stops, one Dunks run, 3 bags of mini chocolate chip cookies, and 1.5 hours in Target!

Not bad, eh?

Here's bad.

What we brought with us:

2 suitcases of clothes
1 laundry basket of dirty clothes
high chair
potty (at least we remembered it! unlike last time...)
potty seat for toilet
pack 'n play
3 sleeping bags
3 pillows
1 box of non-perishable food
1 box of books
bag 'o trains
box of big legos
bag of little legos
small riding toy
roller skates
helmet
knee pads
elbow freaking pads
2 stacking toys
1 pull toy
1 stuffed tiger
1 baby doll
1 puzzle
1 lunch box full of crayons
5 coloring books
1 expandable tunnel
sippy cups
plastic cups
kids utensils
1 very sharp knife
bath towels
kitchen towels
washcloths
toilet paper
paper towels
laundry soap
2 strollers
and a partridge in a pear tree.

And during our 1.5 hours at Target? We bought Chelsea a Thomas bike.

We've only been here for 6 hours. They've already played with everything.

Except the tunnel.

And the very sharp knife.
---

The Rainn Wilson Effect

Yes, I know this is not Rainn Wilson. This is Pau. Rainn hasn't visited Kendra... yet.

You know you're pretty awesome when...

-Miley Cyrus sends you a video text...

-Anna-Sophia Robb comes to visit you...

-You're hangin' out with Pau Gasol of the LA Lakers...

-You make it in both the LA newspaper and the local news...

But when Rainn Wilson starts tweeting about you?

That's when even your cousin's stupid little blog starts to get an insane amount of hits for a post about your bracelets!

Fact: Rainn Wilson ROCKS.
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Crybaby

Things that have made me cry in the past week, in reverse chronological order:

-Getting hit on the bridge of the nose by baby holding a wooden train

-Seeing a grandfather cry when his granddaughter got a ticket to Vegas on "So You Think You Can Dance"

-The opening sequence of the new Star Trek movie

-Reading an email from a friend whose father just found out he may only have 6 months to live

-Listening to Flo-Rida on the radio and trying to sing along with Jeremy's lyrics

-George and Izzie all dressed up at the end of the Grey's Anatomy season finale

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Future Coupon Queen

Chelsea: "Mommy, would you like to buy one of these?" (holding up marker caps on her fingertips, Freddy Krueger style)

Me: (trying to check my email) "No, thank you, honey. Not right now."

Chelsea: "But Mommy, you need to buy dem! Dey are only on sale today!"
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Sisters

I made a goal to take a picture of the girls together every day for a month. Once I realized it was too expensive to do that using the camera in my phone, the plan lasted for about a week. Here are a few of their captured adventures.

Sittin'

Smilin'

Ridin'

Sharin'

Cuddlin'

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I Know You Have Two Dollars

This is my cousin, Kendra.

She's 13. This February, she was diagnosed with liver cancer (hence the radical, totally awesome hair-cut).

She and a friend designed these bracelets:

They say "Fact: I can beat this." (They are big fans of The Office. Who knew?) Each bracelet costs $2. That's less than a latte at Starbucks, people. They come in adult and teen size. And money from their sale supports children's cancer research.

I'm asking you to send me two dollars. In return for this minuscule investment, you will receive:

-a beautiful bracelet

-pride in knowing you are supporting an insanely good cause

-my abundant gratitude

If you have two dollars (c'mon! of course you have two dollars!!!) leave a comment here or send me an email: heidislong AT yahoo DOT com.

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If I Were a Limpet...

Oh my. Have you seen these? Isabella Rossellini has made the strangest, most hilarious set of videos ever. The series is called "Green Porno." There is no way to adequately describe them. You must watch. Now.



That one is Jeremy's favorite, the whale. I posted his favorite because I could not choose. Each one I watch is more ridiculous than the one before. I could watch these all day.
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Whoever Said "There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch" Wasn't Looking Hard Enough

Now that we are actively trying to buy a house, I have the perfect excuse whenever Chelsea wants to buy random toys. I say: Do you want to have this toy or do you want to have a house when we move to California?

We've been budget-conscious since we decided that I would stay home with the girls. We had to be. But now that the house is in sight, I'm thinking about every penny.

And I'm getting even more pleasure out of free stuff.

Last week, it was Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry's and we each had a scoop. Since then, every time Chelsea sees an ice cream place she says, "Let's go get some free ice cream!" File that under: Not Quite Clear on the Concept.

Yesterday, we got 3 free bagels from a local deli and ate those for lunch with some free cream cheese from a sale at the market.

And today may have been the best yet: free chicken dinner at El Pollo Loco! I didn't even know we had an El Pollo Loco in Massachusetts. We went early and ate our "free dinner" for lunch. Each of us got two pieces of grilled chicken and a few tortillas. I added some salsa fresca from their salsa bar and had a nice little chicken burrito... for free!

I know. Bagels and cream cheese? Chicken and tortillas? Not the greatest lunches, but they were free. FREE! And it's not like the girls' usual fare (mac 'n cheese or PB&J) wins any healthy lunch prizes.

Now if only I can figure out a way to get organic milk for free we'll be in that new house in no time.
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Why Jacoby is Mommy's Favorite

I'm not really a baseball fan.

But if you live in Boston, it's kind of impossible not to get swept up in "Red Sox Nation." The first fall we were here was the year the Sox won the World Series for the first time since forever and after that we were hooked.

Fenway is small, so there are no bad seats. The fans are rabid and hysterical. And the players are just amazing. So I guess if I'm not technically a baseball fan, I'm at least a Red Sox fan.

In our family, we each have our favorite players. Jeremy's is Mike Lowell, 3rd baseman. Chelsea's is Jonathan Papelbon, the closing pitcher. Mine is Jacoby Ellsbury. We even picked a favorite for Savannah: Dustin "the Destroyah" Pedroia. (Only in Boston does Pedroia rhyme with Destroyer.)

Last night, playing against our arch-rivals, the Yankees, Jacoby managed a feat that is nearly impossible: he stole home. You really just have to see it:




Do you see how amazing he is? Plus, just LOOK at him.

Photo credit to scoobie7555 on photobucket

He's cute as all get-out. And he's the first Native American with Navajo heritage to play in the majors... what's not to love?

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You're Here, Now Go Away

I know, I already have Amalah on my blogroll and you still don't go over there but I'm going to send you there anyway because you need to read this. To the end.

Go.

Git.

Scoot, already.
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Honkeys in Chinatown

In California, Jeremy and I attended my girlfriend Mia's wedding.

Here she is freshly married, with her new hubs, Vance. Aren't they cute?

The ceremony was a traditional American-style affair but the reception was a mix of American traditions (first dance, silly DJ antics) and Chinese traditions (tea ceremony, multiple outfit changes).

This was costume change #47, I believe: red satin loungewear.

The menu, however, was full-on Chinese banquet, complete with ten main courses and lots of things we could barely recognize. Actually, Jeremy recognized most of them but only because he is a marine biologist. The menu included jellyfish, whole abalone, and giant crab (tried 'em all) as well as geoduck and shark fin (couldn't bring myself to eat those!). We weren't the only people at our table who felt a bit like fish out of water (marine bio humor, geddit?). There were a few other non-Chinese guests, including a pair of evil geniuses:

The Evil Zappamotos!

There was much drinking, dancing, and late-night carousing which was all very wonderful for this stay-at-home mom. I've already posted a pic of Jeremy having a good ol' time at the reception, so here's one of me:

"Look how much fun we're having!"

Congratulations to the happy couple and to my girl, Mia: go out and get a damn job already!
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Mister America

Please to enjoy this photo of Jeremy at my friend Mia's Chinese banquet wedding reception:



Jeremy was pretending to be a pageant queen at the urging of the DJ, who was making all the guests play a silly game in order to take home the table centerpiece. Jeremy spent most of the time posing, blowing us kisses, and walking around with a smug look on his face. Props to our tablemate and new friend Lionel for snapping this shot.
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Musical Beds

It's everyone's least favorite game! Perhaps you've played at your house, too?

Round 1:
Everyone in their own beds.

Round 2:
(after Savannah cries and wakes up Chelsea)
Savannah in big chair with me.
Chelsea in her bed, with Jeremy on the floor next to her.

Round 3:
Savannah in big bed with Jeremy.
Chelsea still in her bed.
Mommy on the couch.

Round 4:
Savannah back in her crib.
Chelsea still in bed.
Mommy comes back to her own bed.

Round 5:
(after Chelsea wakes up repeatedly for no apparent reason)
Chelsea in big bed with Daddy.
Savannah still in crib.
Mommy back to the couch.

How to determine the winner:
Winner? Hahaha! There is no winner!
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California Stylee

How the girls kept busy for the past couple of months in San Diego:

Swimming

Baking

(Trying to fatten cousin Kendra up with sweet treats, but mostly just helping Uncle Pete gain 5 pounds! Sorry, Peter!!!)

Shredding

(aka Doing the 30 Day Shred, we might've eaten a few of the treats, too.)

Riding in style with Auntie Bev and Oma.

Visiting every book store and toy store in a 10 mile radius.

But only if they have a train table.

Waking up early. Way too early.

Eating pizza with Grandma and Grandpa.

Workin' out on the treadmill with Opa.

(Had to work off some of that pizza, too.)

Playing with make-up.

And just being ridiculously happy to be near family and friends.

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