Six Flags New England or The Most Expensive Playground in Massachusetts

Jeremy has been wanting to take Chelsea to an amusement park since, um, like, FOREVAH, so when we found out that Six Flags New England had a Thomastown, we were so there.

Once in the park, she lit up just seeing the sign that pointed the way to Thomastown. In the sacred zone of all things Thomas, the first thing she saw was the Harold the Helicopter ride. Harold and Thomas share the top spot in Chelsea's pantheon of imaginary friends, so she ran right to it... and was promptly denied entrance by the attendant. For being too short. (As if!)

I was so flustered because we had checked online in advance to make sure she met the height requirement for all the rides, but I was also eager to placate Chelsea, so we moved on to the next ride: Bertie the Bus. As soon as we sat down on the bus, she stood up and said, "I don't like this!" Strike Two!

We then headed to the last and most important ride in Thomastown: the Thomas train. And just as soon as we got in line, Thomas stopped running. Why? Nobody knew. For how long? No one can say. Good times!

Luckily, there is more to do at Six Flags for a toddler than Thomastown.

We headed to Wiggles World and Chelsea spent an obscene amount of time in the playground. It was supposed to be a big ship, but it was basically just a bunch of stairs leading to slides. Did I mention she's afraid of slides? So she was just climbing up and down stairs. And I'm following her around thinking, "We could've stayed in our apartment building, saved two-and-a-half hours in the car and $74.98 if we'd known you just wanted to climb stairs!!!"

Next, the Wiggles show. It quickly became clear that Chelsea is perhaps the last toddler in New England (and certainly the only one in Wiggles World) who has no idea who the Wiggles are. Despite this, she is mesmerized by the show and after the show is over she hugs (!!!) the two characters who come out for a meet-and-greet and asks us where the other two are. (They are hot and sweaty after "wiggling" around in the sun in ridiculous costumes for your enjoyment. They need some serious AC and about a gallon of water, thanks.)

After she made it onto all the rides in Wiggles World AND all the rides in Looney Tune Land without being dismissed due to size, we decided to try one more time in Thomastown. Screw Harold and Bertie, we need to get this child on Thomas! This was the whole point of the entire trip! And finally, almost as the park was about to close, we got our wish. And by then, we were all ready to collapse forever.

Oh, and Savannah had fun, too.

Here's Jeremy's version, which is roughly the same as mine but with lots more pictures and lots less annoying commentary.