The Boston Globe Sunday Magazine included an article this past weekend called, "The $66.95 Family Feast." Sounds like a great idea for these troubled, troublesome times.
The author starts out with some bright ideas: shop at a local store known for good food and great prices, use ingredients in more than one dish when possible, and assume certain pantry staples.
I'm thinking: Hey! I already shop at that store! I don't mind using stuff more than once! And I have pantry staples!!!
Then I read through the rest of the directions....
"Set the pork on a cutting board, pat dry with paper towels, tie into a uniform shape with kitchen twine..."
Hmm. I'd have to get some kitchen twine. Not a big deal. Reading on...
"In a large, ovenproof Dutch oven set over medium-high heat..."
Wait. I don't have a Dutch oven. Not even a small, non-ovenproof one.
"In the bowl of a food processor, pulse 1 ¼ cups plus 2 tablespoons flour, confectioners' sugar, and a large pinch of salt to combine."
Dammit! I don't have a food processor either!
"Remove the top piece of plastic wrap and use the bottom piece to help gently drape the dough over the top of a 10- or 11-inch tart pan (with a removable bottom). "
A TART PAN?!! With a removable bottom? Who do they think I am, Martha Stewart? If I were, I wouldn't be reading an article about how to save money on a family feast!
(Ok. Calm down. Deep breaths.)
Let's say I still want to make this feast, despite my utter lack of kitchen equipment. How much might that cost?
According to my bff Amazon, it would cost just about eighty bucks to acquire all the stuff necessary to pull off this meal.
Oh, hah! That's more than the meal itself. (Kinda defeats the purpose, yes?)
Here's some more hilarity from the recipe:
"Tip: Save on sugar. You need only 1½ tablespoons, so if you don't have any in the pantry, use four of the packets stashed in your office desk to sweeten coffee."
Gee, thanks! Oh, wait. I don't have a desk. Or a job. Or money to spend at Starbucks where I might pick up a few extra packets of sugar.
And one final quote:
"Tip: Save $1.40 on soy sauce. Use three of the free packets you stashed from your last order of Chinese takeout."
Takeout? Who can afford takeout? (And if you can, how come you can't afford soy sauce?)
And really, you're urging me to save money on sugar and soy sauce while simultaneously suggesting I use $80 worth of equipment that I don't have? Wha-huh?
In the author's defense, the recipes really do sound delicious.
But I guess "The $146.95 Family Feast" just didn't have the same ring to it.
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Many thanks to Snarky Amber at MamaPop for this post on a similar topic which inspired me to write the above.
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3 comments:
hi
this is totally insane,as said,do they think the average person has all that stuff.i don't think so
love oma
Hi there, Heidi -- Well said! A few weeks ago, I cam close to sending this comment to the Globe magazine:
"In your special edition on "Giving," you include a spot on a skirt that sells for $1,500. Are you serious?"
I've been increasingly fed up with the magazine: when it's not about how the rich can attempt to be socially conscious (Hey! spend a zillion dollars and you too can go green!), it's blatantly about money. The house listings are insane. The clothes are unreal. The food? Yummy and inaccessible.
Also, don't get me started on the very slanted childbirth article from a couple of years back, in which the ONLY midwife they quoted was the admittedly free-spirited Ina May Gaskin.
Good luck finding your tart pan. Me, I think I left mine in the attic somewhere, with my extra jewels. (snort)
=)
-Kristin (and James, who thinks dinner should only come from the spaghetti-o can or the Annie's box anyway)
Kristin-
You should totally send them your comments! I just got an email that they might print my letter... we'll see. I'll update this post with a link (I'm famous!) if they do. I love the Globe but sheesh!
~hsl
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