De-Evolution of Language

Chelsea's language development seemed to follow a pretty normal pattern. She started out as most kids do, saying stuff like, "Ball!" No verbs, no pronouns. All nouns, all the time.

When she was able to string a few more words together, it was, "Chelsea ball!" Could mean "I want the ball," or "I have the ball," or "Give me that damn ball," but she knew her name and used it.

Recently, she's been working on pronouns. For many months we've heard lots of, "YOU WANT THE BALL!" You meaning Chelsea. This is a tricky one to fix because you have to say something like, "If you want the ball you have to say, 'I want the ball.'" And then her eyes cross and her brain explodes.

She's been getting the hang of it though and we are hearing more and more sentences that start with "I" such as, "I CAN DO IT MYSELF!" or, "I'M A BIG SISTER!!!" (which coincidentally also means, "I CAN DO IT MYSELF!").

We thought she was right on track to figuring out this whole how-do-I-talk-about-myself thing. And then she started what I can only describe as narration. Now, when she says something, she also SAYS that she said it.

Wha-huh?

For example, if Jeremy is saying something that she doesn't understand, she'll say, "What are you talking about daddy, she said." (Did you follow that? She actually SAYS "she said." Like her life is a book. And she's reading it to us.)

She even adds to the already unnecessary "she said" (or often, "she asked") with even more unnecessary modifiers: "I would not like to go to bed, she said sadly."

My dear child, you don't need to tell us you said it, because we heard you say it. And you certainly don't need to tell us you said it sadly, because we also heard your pouty tone of voice. She wrote. Exasperatedly.