Click-Blocked

In case you never noticed, I've got me some Google Ads over on the right side of the screen. Now here's how they work: Google magically matches up the ads based on what I write about, because presumably, if you are here reading this, it must be because you are so deeply interested in what I'm writing about, yes?

After I wrote about our trip to Six Flags, the Google Ad was:

Thomas Toddler Bed!
Design your own Thomas Nursery!
Click here for more Thomas crap than you ever dreamed of!

I saw it and thought, "Hey! I would like some more Thomas crap, I mean, stuff! Maybe they have one or two things that the super Thomas emporium in Thomastown did not have!"

But wait. I'm not allowed to click my own ads. That's part of the deal. Google sends me a penny (or some fraction thereof) any time a visitor to my blog clicks on one of the ads. (Disclaimer: I'm also not allowed to suggest that you might enjoy clicking on my ads. Or encourage you to do so in order that I get some Google pennies in the mail. I'm just explaining here, ok?)

So, I don't click the ad. No Thomas crap for me.

Then I wrote about what we should do before leaving Boston, and Google blared:

64 Boston Attractions!
Museums, Excursions,
Trolley Tours, Historic Sites!
For 1 Low Price!

Hey! I want to see that! I want to pay 1 low price! But alas. Still not allowed to click my own ads. *sigh*

When I wrote about Tim Gunn's book, Google started to piss me off:

Little Black Dress
Dresses that Fit & Flatter You.
Get $25 off plus...
(Why am I typing this? If you just look over there, it's probably still there.)

Hey, Google! Here's the problem with your ads: No one is visiting this blog because of their deep and abiding love of Thomas, Boston attractions, or Little Black Dresses. They are simply here to humor me. Or keep track of how ginormous my husband's facial hair is getting. The only person interested in all of those things is... oh yeah, that would be me. Ah, the Googlicious irony.