This is my husband. He is made of awesome.
---
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Whose Vocabulary Is It, Anyway?
Making plans this morning, on a rare foggy day in San Diego.
Me: Chelsea, what would you like to do today?
Chelsea: Not something that involves the fog.
---
Later, getting ready to go into Barnes and Noble.
Me: Should we bring the diaper bag?
Chelsea: Let's bring the diaper bag, to prevent Savannah from pooping.
--
Involves? Prevent? How is it that she can use those words correctly but can't remember what she ate for breakfast?
---
Me: Chelsea, what would you like to do today?
Chelsea: Not something that involves the fog.
---
Later, getting ready to go into Barnes and Noble.
Me: Should we bring the diaper bag?
Chelsea: Let's bring the diaper bag, to prevent Savannah from pooping.
--
Involves? Prevent? How is it that she can use those words correctly but can't remember what she ate for breakfast?
---
Monday, March 2, 2009
Heidi Needs
This is a meme my friend Marcos sent me on Facebook. You Google your name with the word needs behind it, all in quotes, and then post what comes up. Here's what Google says "Heidi needs:"
1. Heidi needs more privacy.
2. Heidi needs attention, too.
3. Heidi needs to finish her latest novel.
4. Heidi needs someone to love her (don't we all?)
5. Heidi needs our help.
6. Heidi needs a friend and so do I.
7. Heidi needs to remember that blood is thicker than water.
8. Heidi needs to be in the spotlight so bad that she is two steps away from being a coked-out porn star.
9. Heidi needs to go away.
10. Heidi needs to dump that loser.
(Mine is obviously messed up by the fact that I share a name with a much-hated celebrity, Heidi Montag. But it makes for some pretty hilarious "needs" dontcha think?)
---
1. Heidi needs more privacy.
2. Heidi needs attention, too.
3. Heidi needs to finish her latest novel.
4. Heidi needs someone to love her (don't we all?)
5. Heidi needs our help.
6. Heidi needs a friend and so do I.
7. Heidi needs to remember that blood is thicker than water.
8. Heidi needs to be in the spotlight so bad that she is two steps away from being a coked-out porn star.
9. Heidi needs to go away.
10. Heidi needs to dump that loser.
(Mine is obviously messed up by the fact that I share a name with a much-hated celebrity, Heidi Montag. But it makes for some pretty hilarious "needs" dontcha think?)
---
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Get Ready to Rummmmbbble
Massachusetts vs California: February Battle
Round 1: Getting Ready to Go Somewhere
Massachusetts: Sweaters, jackets, boots, mittens, and hats. Snow pants optional.
California: Sunscreen. Shoes optional.
Winner: California.
***
Round 2: Baby-sitting options.
Massachusetts: Graduate students. Going rate of 10-12 dollars per hour.
California: Grandparents. Going rate of FREE.
Winner: California.
***
Round 3: Living arrangements.
Massachusetts: Two-bedroom apartment. Baby and preschooler in same room waking each other up. Often broken washer and dryer in basement.
California: Five bedroom house. Children in separate rooms! Working washer and dryer in house!
Winner: California.
***
Battle Winner: California, by a landslide!
---
Round 1: Getting Ready to Go Somewhere
Massachusetts: Sweaters, jackets, boots, mittens, and hats. Snow pants optional.
California: Sunscreen. Shoes optional.
Winner: California.
***
Round 2: Baby-sitting options.
Massachusetts: Graduate students. Going rate of 10-12 dollars per hour.
California: Grandparents. Going rate of FREE.
Winner: California.
***
Round 3: Living arrangements.
Massachusetts: Two-bedroom apartment. Baby and preschooler in same room waking each other up. Often broken washer and dryer in basement.
California: Five bedroom house. Children in separate rooms! Working washer and dryer in house!
Winner: California.
***
Battle Winner: California, by a landslide!
---
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Ash Wednesday
Riding in the elevator with my mother-in-law, Linda, yesterday.
Linda: What smells funny?
Me: (sniffing air)
Linda: (aiming nose at ceiling) It smells like... burning... what IS that?
Me: (realizing she's observing Ash Wednesday) Um... could it be... your forehead?
---
Linda: What smells funny?
Me: (sniffing air)
Linda: (aiming nose at ceiling) It smells like... burning... what IS that?
Me: (realizing she's observing Ash Wednesday) Um... could it be... your forehead?
---
Thursday, February 19, 2009
One of Those Days
We're home in San Diego, staying at my parent's house, but they are both out of the country on extended trips. It has been interesting to come home to a house that is basically on "lock down."
Last night when we arrived, there was no hot water, the house was freezing, and the milk in the fridge was expired. We had to lower the crib mattress at midnight to put Savannah to bed. It's been very different from my usual homecoming where my mom has the house stocked with diapers and everything ready and waiting for us.
This morning, one thing went wrong after another. First, Jeremy installed the car seats into my dad's (fancier) car instead of my mom's, because the battery on her car alarm deactivator was dead. Sorry, Dad! Hope you like cracker crumbs on your leather seats!
Jeremy's mom and I put the girls into the car to go to Target (baby needs diapers!) and when I sat down, my seat was waaaay back, like gangsta style, and when I played with the dials I had my choice of gangsta or bang my head on the roof. I went with gangsta.
We drove away and I noticed the car was out of gas. Drove to the nearest station, but they didn't take a credit card. So I drove across the street to the other one, but I had forgotten to screw the gas cap back on. So as we were driving away, Linda said, "What was that?!" And we heard the gas cap go flying into the street!
Ok, that's when I started cursing.
I flipped the car around, Linda jumped out and walked around in the street looking for it with no luck. Finally, we drove back and re-traced (re-drove?) our steps and I saw it lying on the side of the road. I just stopped right there, got out, and got it. California drivers, be damned!
After that, I was ready to pack it up and just go back home. I mean, back to my mom's house. Not back to Massachusetts.
Nothing in California could be bad enough for that.
---
Last night when we arrived, there was no hot water, the house was freezing, and the milk in the fridge was expired. We had to lower the crib mattress at midnight to put Savannah to bed. It's been very different from my usual homecoming where my mom has the house stocked with diapers and everything ready and waiting for us.
This morning, one thing went wrong after another. First, Jeremy installed the car seats into my dad's (fancier) car instead of my mom's, because the battery on her car alarm deactivator was dead. Sorry, Dad! Hope you like cracker crumbs on your leather seats!
Jeremy's mom and I put the girls into the car to go to Target (baby needs diapers!) and when I sat down, my seat was waaaay back, like gangsta style, and when I played with the dials I had my choice of gangsta or bang my head on the roof. I went with gangsta.
We drove away and I noticed the car was out of gas. Drove to the nearest station, but they didn't take a credit card. So I drove across the street to the other one, but I had forgotten to screw the gas cap back on. So as we were driving away, Linda said, "What was that?!" And we heard the gas cap go flying into the street!
Ok, that's when I started cursing.
I flipped the car around, Linda jumped out and walked around in the street looking for it with no luck. Finally, we drove back and re-traced (re-drove?) our steps and I saw it lying on the side of the road. I just stopped right there, got out, and got it. California drivers, be damned!
After that, I was ready to pack it up and just go back home. I mean, back to my mom's house. Not back to Massachusetts.
Nothing in California could be bad enough for that.
---
Monday, February 16, 2009
Good to Know
Upon returning home from a rare and much-needed date night, this is the conversation we had with the baby-sitter, who came over after the girls were in bed in Chelsea's room:
Sitter: "You know, next time you have a sitter and the kids are already asleep, you should probably tell the sitter that the baby is not sleeping in the crib in your bedroom. When I went in to check on her, and saw the empty crib I was like..."
Me: "WHERE IS THE FUCKING BABY???"
Sitter: "Yeah."
Jeremy: "You know, when you can't find the baby, you should probably call the parents."
Sitter: "Well... I found her!"
---
Sitter: "You know, next time you have a sitter and the kids are already asleep, you should probably tell the sitter that the baby is not sleeping in the crib in your bedroom. When I went in to check on her, and saw the empty crib I was like..."
Me: "WHERE IS THE FUCKING BABY???"
Sitter: "Yeah."
Jeremy: "You know, when you can't find the baby, you should probably call the parents."
Sitter: "Well... I found her!"
---
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