Riding in the elevator with my mother-in-law, Linda, yesterday.
Linda: What smells funny?
Me: (sniffing air)
Linda: (aiming nose at ceiling) It smells like... burning... what IS that?
Me: (realizing she's observing Ash Wednesday) Um... could it be... your forehead?
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Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
One of Those Days
We're home in San Diego, staying at my parent's house, but they are both out of the country on extended trips. It has been interesting to come home to a house that is basically on "lock down."
Last night when we arrived, there was no hot water, the house was freezing, and the milk in the fridge was expired. We had to lower the crib mattress at midnight to put Savannah to bed. It's been very different from my usual homecoming where my mom has the house stocked with diapers and everything ready and waiting for us.
This morning, one thing went wrong after another. First, Jeremy installed the car seats into my dad's (fancier) car instead of my mom's, because the battery on her car alarm deactivator was dead. Sorry, Dad! Hope you like cracker crumbs on your leather seats!
Jeremy's mom and I put the girls into the car to go to Target (baby needs diapers!) and when I sat down, my seat was waaaay back, like gangsta style, and when I played with the dials I had my choice of gangsta or bang my head on the roof. I went with gangsta.
We drove away and I noticed the car was out of gas. Drove to the nearest station, but they didn't take a credit card. So I drove across the street to the other one, but I had forgotten to screw the gas cap back on. So as we were driving away, Linda said, "What was that?!" And we heard the gas cap go flying into the street!
Ok, that's when I started cursing.
I flipped the car around, Linda jumped out and walked around in the street looking for it with no luck. Finally, we drove back and re-traced (re-drove?) our steps and I saw it lying on the side of the road. I just stopped right there, got out, and got it. California drivers, be damned!
After that, I was ready to pack it up and just go back home. I mean, back to my mom's house. Not back to Massachusetts.
Nothing in California could be bad enough for that.
---
Last night when we arrived, there was no hot water, the house was freezing, and the milk in the fridge was expired. We had to lower the crib mattress at midnight to put Savannah to bed. It's been very different from my usual homecoming where my mom has the house stocked with diapers and everything ready and waiting for us.
This morning, one thing went wrong after another. First, Jeremy installed the car seats into my dad's (fancier) car instead of my mom's, because the battery on her car alarm deactivator was dead. Sorry, Dad! Hope you like cracker crumbs on your leather seats!
Jeremy's mom and I put the girls into the car to go to Target (baby needs diapers!) and when I sat down, my seat was waaaay back, like gangsta style, and when I played with the dials I had my choice of gangsta or bang my head on the roof. I went with gangsta.
We drove away and I noticed the car was out of gas. Drove to the nearest station, but they didn't take a credit card. So I drove across the street to the other one, but I had forgotten to screw the gas cap back on. So as we were driving away, Linda said, "What was that?!" And we heard the gas cap go flying into the street!
Ok, that's when I started cursing.
I flipped the car around, Linda jumped out and walked around in the street looking for it with no luck. Finally, we drove back and re-traced (re-drove?) our steps and I saw it lying on the side of the road. I just stopped right there, got out, and got it. California drivers, be damned!
After that, I was ready to pack it up and just go back home. I mean, back to my mom's house. Not back to Massachusetts.
Nothing in California could be bad enough for that.
---
Monday, February 16, 2009
Good to Know
Upon returning home from a rare and much-needed date night, this is the conversation we had with the baby-sitter, who came over after the girls were in bed in Chelsea's room:
Sitter: "You know, next time you have a sitter and the kids are already asleep, you should probably tell the sitter that the baby is not sleeping in the crib in your bedroom. When I went in to check on her, and saw the empty crib I was like..."
Me: "WHERE IS THE FUCKING BABY???"
Sitter: "Yeah."
Jeremy: "You know, when you can't find the baby, you should probably call the parents."
Sitter: "Well... I found her!"
---
Sitter: "You know, next time you have a sitter and the kids are already asleep, you should probably tell the sitter that the baby is not sleeping in the crib in your bedroom. When I went in to check on her, and saw the empty crib I was like..."
Me: "WHERE IS THE FUCKING BABY???"
Sitter: "Yeah."
Jeremy: "You know, when you can't find the baby, you should probably call the parents."
Sitter: "Well... I found her!"
---
Thursday, February 12, 2009
30 Day Shred, Mommy Style
You would think that life with two small children would not require the 30 Day Shred, because this kind of life is already the 365 Day Shred. Apparently, chasing around after two tiny crazy people was not enough to whip this mama's bod into rock star shape. That is why I now have Jillian. (Plus, Jillian was on sale at Target and I had a gift card. Woohoo!)
Usually I do my shredding during afternoon naptime, while Savannah naps and Chelsea has "quiet" time. The other day, I tried to shred during Savannah's morning nap, which meant Chelsea was wiggling around underfoot the entire time.
I give you now the abridged transcript of the 30 Day Shred plus preschooler:
During push-ups:
"Don't climb on my back!"
During crunches:
"Don't touch my armpits!"
During shadowboxing:
"WATCH OUT!!!"
Think of all the extra calories I must be burning by yelling WHILE shredding! "Yelling While Shredding." Could be the next big thing.
Usually I do my shredding during afternoon naptime, while Savannah naps and Chelsea has "quiet" time. The other day, I tried to shred during Savannah's morning nap, which meant Chelsea was wiggling around underfoot the entire time.
I give you now the abridged transcript of the 30 Day Shred plus preschooler:
During push-ups:
"Don't climb on my back!"
During crunches:
"Don't touch my armpits!"
During shadowboxing:
"WATCH OUT!!!"
Think of all the extra calories I must be burning by yelling WHILE shredding! "Yelling While Shredding." Could be the next big thing.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Crazy Delicious!
It has taken me a while, but I finally finished making a video slideshow of our pictures from a day of apple picking at Connor's Farm last fall. And I even got permission from one of the DJs who made the song that I used as the soundtrack, so I won't have to worry about my video getting shut down by The Man (Weezer, I'm looking at you). Please to enjoy!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
My Kind of Logic
Me: "My doctor called and asked me if I had been taking my thyroid medicine."
Jeremy: "So, did they up your dose?"
Me: "Yeah, they doubled it... no wonder I'm still fat and cranky!"
Jeremy: (laughing uncontrollably) "You don't think it might be all the chocolate and the fact that you don't sleep?"
---
Jeremy: "So, did they up your dose?"
Me: "Yeah, they doubled it... no wonder I'm still fat and cranky!"
Jeremy: (laughing uncontrollably) "You don't think it might be all the chocolate and the fact that you don't sleep?"
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