Playgroup versus... Naptime?

For the past two weeks in a row, Chelsea has come home from our regular Friday playgroup (holla!) and refused to nap. Oh, she'll stay in her room, she'll even stay in her bed, but WIDE awake. Today, I kept her in there for 2 hours hoping and hoping she'd finally go to sleep.

Because the wages of no naptime? Worse than death.

Cranky toddler = Ruined dinner. Bathtime meltdown. Much, much wailing and gnashing of teeth (and that's just Jeremy and me).

But today? It's freaking Halloween! How can I drag a cranky, over-tired child around in costume, in the dark, to our neighbors' houses, asking for candy?!

Today, I'm hoping to solve that problem with our least favorite baby-sitter: television. I figure if she sits in front of the TV for a while, maybe she'll at least be rested enough that she won't lose it in the middle of trick-or-treating if someone, oh I don't know, looks at her.

So for today, problem (maybe?) solved. But what to do next week? And the week after that? In the battle of playgroup versus naptime, who wins? I'd HATE to miss my playgroup, sometimes that's the only adult female conversation I get all week. But the torture of missed naptime is so acute, so horrible... I just don't know.

Happy Halloween to you and here's hoping you have less of a horror show at your house than we are likely to have here!
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Ah, Poetry

I know that there is something wrong,
Said Mrs. Heidi Summers Long.
I have a headache and some zits,
Dirty hair and stinky pits.
My eyes are sore, my legs are cold.
I’m feeling super-duper old.
My nightgown has a spit-up stain,
I cannot even use my brain.
The coffee never seems to work,
My children make me go berserk.
The baby cries and screams and shouts,
The toilet paper’s running out.
The big girl stays up late, late, late.
I cannot find a tidy plate.
Baby howls when I wipe her,
My bedroom smells like poopy diaper.
Crumbs and stickers on the floor,
I really cannot take much more.
Feeling like the walking dead,
When can I go back to bed?
I have a cramp and my arm is- what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is… Friday?
G’bye, I’m off to group to play!

(Dedicated to the amazing ladies in my Friday playgroup [I wish every day were Friday!] and inspired by Shel Silverstein's Sick.)
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Rainy Tuesday Meme

Thanks, Robyn, for the meme. We're definitely having a rainy, lazy, SOCKS-like day over here and I've got nothing. So here you go! Anyone reading this (hola, imaginary readers!) feel free to play along.

1. Where is your cell phone? Shelf
2. Your significant other? Jeremy
3. Your hair? Dirty
4. Your mother? Purposeful
5. Your father? Traveler
6. Your favorite thing? Sleep
7. Your dream last night? Interrupted
8. Your favorite drink? Margarita
9. Your dream/goal? Home
10. What room you're in? Kitchen
11. Your hobby? Blogging
12. Your fear? McCain
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Stable
14. Where were you last night? Couch
15. Something that you aren't? Thin
16. Muffins? Yum
17. Wish list item? Babysitter
18. Where you grew up? Cali
19. Last thing you did? Read
20. What are you wearing? Nightgown
21. Your TV? Off
22. Your pets? None
23 Friends? Facebook
24. Life? Lucky
25. Your mood? Cranky
26. Missing someone? Traci
27. Vehicle? Civic
28. You're not wearing? Socks
29. Your favorite store? Shubie's
30. Favorite Holiday? Halloween
31. Your favorite time? Bedtime
32. Your favorite color? Green
33. When is the last time you laughed? Now
34. Last time you cried? Days
35. One place that I go to over and over: Playgroup
36. One person who emails me regularly: Mom
37. My favorite place to eat: Juanita's
38. One place I would like to go right now: Encinitas
39. One person I think will respond: Um...
40. One TV show I watch all the time: Grey's
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Two Officers and a Stray Cat

Halloween 2007, on the way to a party. Jeremy and I were part of a group dressing as Reno 911. Chelsea is dressed as Bootsie (a stray black cat we met at the playground one day). I'm pregnant with Savannah, hence the button-down shirt that doesn't button down.)
Rad photography, right? I managed to cut off Jeremy's head AND feet. You would never guess that I used to work as a professional photog, would you? (But that's another post...)
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No on Prop 8

I can't believe this is even an issue.

Prop 8 is a ballot initiative in California to change the state constitution in order to ban gay marriages. The California state constitution currently prevents the state from discriminating against anyone on the basis of their sexual orientation. That's it. Judges did not make any new laws to allow gay marriage in California. They simply pointed out that what California was doing was in violation of its own constitution.

I'm embarrassed for my home state that Prop 8 is even on the ballot. I'm so proud to be living in Massachusetts where gay marriage is legal and just NOT A BIG DEAL. If you don't believe in gay marriage, fine. Don't get one. If your church doesn't believe in them, fine. Your church needn't support them.

I am by no means an expert on this topic, I don't pretend to be. But it boggles my mind that people want to change the constitution to actively deny gay couples equal rights.

Since I can't vote in California, I'm reduced to writing about it on my blog. If anyone is reading this in California, please, when you cast your ballot for Obama (!!!) don't forget to vote no on Prop 8. Also, skip that latte this afternoon and donate the $5 to help. It's easy, go here.


Now is the time to donate. Let your support be known.

Props to Looky, Daddy! for the cool poster.
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Dr. & Mrs. Evil, and Mini-Me

Halloween 2006. On our way to a party. Chelsea was 10 months old.

We were pretty rad, no? I'm totally distracted by the background: what the hell was on TV? Also, that bright shiny rectangle way up high is the license plate that is the banner for this blog, and I need to dig that baby gate around the TV out of storage 'cause Savannah wants to put her fingers in the VCR all. the. time. But forget all of that: check out our groovy costumes!

Thoughts on Alternative Education

Which of these two options would you choose for your child?

Option 1: Your child is competent in all school subjects, passes graduation requirements. Knows the dates of Lincoln's administration. Knows how to write a geometry proof. Writes a damn convincing 5-paragraph essay. Your child will only retain most of this information for a short time, but long enough to get into a good college.

Option 2: Your child lacks some specific content knowledge, but is a self-directed, motivated, thoughtful learner. S/he can read well and easily participate in sincere debates and conversations. Your child is mature, and views learning as a pleasure and a choice, not as a chore. S/he also easily gains acceptance to a good college.

Essentially, the question is this: Is it more important that your child be a good student or a good person? My opinion, in the words of a non-traditional student: "Attitude is more important than substantive learning in every way. The substantive things are trivial to acquire."*

The more I think about traditional schools, the more I'm convinced they are a waste of everyone's time. They can't even argue that they complete their most basic goal: instruction in academic content. The show "Are You Smarter than a 5th grader?" doesn't prove that adults are stupid, rather it shows how fleeting and irrelevant most of the things we "learn" in school are.

I say this as someone who is a highly trained educator with a long history of working in both public and private schools. In high school, I worked as a playground supervisor and a classroom aide. I spent over a year substitute teaching to decide whether or not to get credentialed. After getting my certificate, I worked for 5 years in private schools and completed a Master's degree in Education.

I have been reading a lot about the Sudbury Valley School which is basically a school with no curriculum. Students decide for themselves how to spend their days. They decide what, when, and how they will learn. They play a lot. They have massive amounts of freedom compared to their traditional school counterparts.

The primary objection to this type of schooling is that the students won't learn anything, they'll simply play all day. I would counter that while students seem to learn a lot in traditional schools, the content they study is largely forgotten. What students DO learn in traditional schools is how to sit down, be quiet, and follow directions. They learn that learning is not fun.

I have a nagging doubt in my mind about my indictment of traditional schools, and it is that despite their flaws, they have managed to produce thoughtful people who value learning. They produced me. And my husband. My friends Emily and Tracy. And dozens of others. They can't be all bad.

However, on walks around my neighborhood, I've seen school projects put out in the trash or recycle bin and I'm reminded of how pointless all of those activities usually are. In 6th grade, I had to stick a lightbulb on top of an empty bottle, cover it with a nylon stocking, and turn it into a pioneer-style doll for a project based on some book I don't even remember. What the hell was the point of that? I only remember it now because I was so traumatized by how horribly it turned out. Wouldn't the hours I spent working on that (and fretting over it) been better spent doing almost anything else? Perhaps playing?

I'm undecided on this issue. One some days, I decide that the only solution is for me to open a Sudbury-type school so that my own children will be able to attend one. When that idea is too scary, I decide they'll just have to go to public school, like everyone else, and they'll turn out fine. I think it will be harder to me to deal with all the nonsense (idiotic projects, mindless homework) than for them. Perhaps the real solution is somewhere in the middle: work for change in the public school system. My jury is still out.

If you are interested in this topic, please check out the Freedom to Learn blog, by psychologist Peter Gray. He is a parent of a Sudbury school student and has a lot to say about the importance of play and this model of education.

*Legacy of Trust, p.331.
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