The Negotiator

Naptime at my house.

1:00pm
(After reading, singing, and back-rubbing.)
Me: "I love you, have a good rest." *walks out door, closes gate*

1:05pm
Her: *jumping up and down on bed* "WISHY-WASHY! WISHY WASHY! WISHY WASHY!"
Me: (in angry mom voice) "You need to lie down and go to bed."

1:07pm
Her: "You need Mommy to fix your sheets."
Me: *fixes sheets* "If you get out of bed again, I will not fix your sheets."

1:10pm
Her: "Your tummy hurts; you need Mommy to put the boo-boo doggy on it."
Me: "Your tummy hurts?"
Her: "And your head."
Me: "You know what will make it feel better? A NAP."

1:15pm
Her: "Your diaper is a little bit wet, you need to sit on the potty to let the rest out."
Me: *gets her to the potty*
Her: *sits there with nothing happening* "You need to sit on the big toilet!"
Me: *gets her on big toilet*
Her: *sits there some more*
Me: "Is anything coming?"
Her: "Pee-pee AND poo-poo!"
Me: *puts her diaper back on after nothing happens on toilet*

1:30pm
Her: (back in her room) "RUNNY NOSE! YOU NEED A TISSUE!"

1:32pm
Her: "Your ear hurts. You need Mommy to kiss it."

1:35pm
Her: "TIGER IS WET! YOU NEED MOMMY TO WIPE HIM!"

1:42pm
Her: *sitting at gate with legs poking through* "YOU NEED TO GET OUT RIGHT NOW!"

1:48pm
Her: *fast asleep in bed*
Me: *sigh*